Christmas draws near and this year for me is different from all the other years. Far away from home, I am experiencing a whole new thing. I appreciate how for Americans this is the time when family gets together, its really lovely., however as for me, family is always together so Christmas is just a day as any other day, only that its a special day. I don't think that makes sense but that's okay, my mind is a mess. My friends are going home for the christmas holiday and am getting homesick. The goodnews is God has given me family wherever I am , so at the end of the day I will celebrate Christmas with the Family God has blessed me with this side.
The Christmas story has gotten me thinking. I keep looking at Jesus' birth story and it has striking similarities with several people I know aswell as differences. I tend to think of various way I think God could have done it, and I try to think of how I could have handled it if I was God, or Mary, or Joseph , or Jesus Himself. I mean, I hope it's not a sin but sometimes I analyze and over analyze things, and ofcourse sometimes i mess things up because of thinking too much, sometimes it helps. Get me right, there is no problem with the way it happened, I love the way it happened. God is really amazing , all knowledgeable , all powerful, He is God and there is no other way it could have been done better., but knowing this doesn't keep me from thinking.
He chose that virgin girl and Joseph, they were just engaged not married. My first thought at this is Jesus was born out of wedlock, but then, his was a supernatural birth. God could have chosen to make him be born through a married couple, maybe zechariah and Elizabeth, but He did not. His birth was a controversial issue, so he faced it. Jesus knows how it feels to be an outcast of the society, to be called a bastard, or an accident, or a shame. Jesus knows the shame, fear, accusations, judgement Mary and Joseph had to pass through from friends and family. Jesus knows it all and when you hear these words, they are real. He does not know it all from watching it from a distance but from experiencing it all.
Mary, the highly favoured woman. She agreed to being a mother to a child born of the Holy Spirit. Luke 1:38, says she said"Iam the Lords servant. May it be to me as you have said". Trust me if I was Mary I could have asked more questions than Luke 1:34, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?" I would first think of what the public will think of me being pregnant before I was married. I would be thinking of what Joseph will say about it, like, won't he dump me? So, if Joseph dumps me, how will the world look at me when I say the child am carrying is God's? What will I tell my family? I think my answer would be, let me think about it and ask the people who matter in my life and then I will get back to you angel Gabriel. You know what I want? I want to have faith enough as Mary had to simply say use me Lord, however way you want.
Joseph, the guy who was about to marry the girl of his dreams, and this girl got pregnant, not by him though. How do men handle these situations? Who wants to raise somebodys child. And then Matthew 1:19 says,"because Joseph was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace , he had in mind to divorce her quietly". So, if he wasn't a righteous man he would have exposed her to public disgrace right??? Again, I am just curious. Here is a righteous man who was about to deny being the father of the king quietly. Everyone had been waiting for the messiah and Joseph was about to walk away from being a great part of the messiah's life. Sometimes we walk away from the promises God has for us because the circumstances around us are confusing and we want to save our worldly reputations. When things get confusing, it's not the time to quit. Somebody said, "quitters never win and winners never quit".
Am glad Jesus came to earth the way He did. I love praying to a God who knows what am feeling because He experienced it all from the moment He was conceived till He died. I am even more glad because He can relate to me, my mum, my dad, my brothers, sisters and friends, at once and fully. He gives us all a full and complete part of him not just a piece. If you invite Him in your life, He will come and stay in there as a whole, while He does the same to everyone else who has invited Him in. Am glad I can't describe my God fully, and I can't comprehend His works, I can't put Him in a box, but I can love Him so much and trust Him and know that He is always there for me no matter what. Am even more glad that He loves me so much that He sent His only begotten son to become human, experience life like I do and walk with me through it. His story has given me a story. He has given me life. Have a Merry Christmas and remember Jesus Christ is the reason for this season.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
TREASURED "TRASH"
They assigned us various houses to go and help out after the hurricane. We were a part of the volunteers for the day. I personally knew that the hurricane had done a lot of damage, because people said it had but for some reason i had not even watched it on TV or the internet. Pulling up on what was a drive way and seeing the TRASH that was coming out of peoples house, waiting to be thrown away or recycled., I instantly knew that the hurricane had affected people beyond what I could ever imagine.
Notice my use of the word TRASH.! We found an old man and woman infront of the house and we asked where they could use our help. I was told to help the woman sort through the "trash" and see what we could save. We started searching through the piles of mud, standing on mud because the grounds had not dried yet, mixed with newspapers, 3 weeks old flood water because it had not dried off yet, broken glass, kitchen utensils, wood, plastics, I mean literally everything that made this house a house(a home), from property to building was all muddled up in this pile , the pile I had simply seen and labelled "trash".
I thought it was nasty even though I was touching it through thick gloves, and some of the muddy water was seeping through my boots, but my mindset drastically changed to guilt and sympathy. In this my so called trash, we found pieces of treasured China, pearls, kitchen utensils, cellphones, dollar notes, trophies, certificates and diplomas, photographs, and yes, while it looked like trash , it was full of treasured stuff. To me it was trash, but when I saw the look on their faces when we saved a picture or a book I realised it was treasured. To them this was a life time of memories. Losing this, was losing a home, losing their connections to history of friends, relatives, places, losing memories and after this, it was a start of a new life. It all looked like "trash", but it was "treasured".
However going through this pile, I found wooden carving and I asked.,
"would you love to keep this?"
she said, "Oh! Buddha".
You can just imagine the look on my face. I found another one and she was so exubilant and then i asked, "are you Buddhists?"
she said, "No! well yeah! something along that same philosophy".
I started thinking maybe God wanted me to start evangelising but I couldn't come up with a starting line or anything like that, I was putting on a shirt that said "helping in Jesus Name". I found solace in knowing that however many years down the line, these people will look back at the hurricane, remember and share how some people who believed in Jesus helped them after the hurricane.
I just stayed silent and kept working hard, praying my hardwork portrays my relationship with Christ and then a thought came up to me. That piece of Buddha she treasured, that Idol was TRASH, as I went through the pile, I saw some more trash they treasured and God reminded me of the "trash" I treasure. Relationships I hold on to that I need not, hatred, the small idols I worship (money, fame, beauty), pride, my phone, the list goes on and on. I do not treasure Buddha, or the little wooden Idols I came across in that pile but I have my own little, worthless stuff I treasure and I need to throw away.
As I went through the day,helping different people in different locations, I was just amazed at how the hurricane affected everyone, Christians, Non Christians, rich and poor, diverse races and was amazed at how each of these needed our help regardless of who we are and where we came from. They prayed with us, cried with us and laughed with us. The Scripture that popped out of my head was Luke 12:15" Be on your guard against all kinds of greed, a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions., and 33,34 says, "prepare a treasure in Heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys, for where your treasure is , there, your heart will be also".
Where are you storing your treasure? And what kind of trash are you treasuring? Is it worth it? As for me I think it is better for people to look at my pile and see trash when it is treasure, than to show off what I think is treasure, when it is trash.
Notice my use of the word TRASH.! We found an old man and woman infront of the house and we asked where they could use our help. I was told to help the woman sort through the "trash" and see what we could save. We started searching through the piles of mud, standing on mud because the grounds had not dried yet, mixed with newspapers, 3 weeks old flood water because it had not dried off yet, broken glass, kitchen utensils, wood, plastics, I mean literally everything that made this house a house(a home), from property to building was all muddled up in this pile , the pile I had simply seen and labelled "trash".
I thought it was nasty even though I was touching it through thick gloves, and some of the muddy water was seeping through my boots, but my mindset drastically changed to guilt and sympathy. In this my so called trash, we found pieces of treasured China, pearls, kitchen utensils, cellphones, dollar notes, trophies, certificates and diplomas, photographs, and yes, while it looked like trash , it was full of treasured stuff. To me it was trash, but when I saw the look on their faces when we saved a picture or a book I realised it was treasured. To them this was a life time of memories. Losing this, was losing a home, losing their connections to history of friends, relatives, places, losing memories and after this, it was a start of a new life. It all looked like "trash", but it was "treasured".
However going through this pile, I found wooden carving and I asked.,
"would you love to keep this?"
she said, "Oh! Buddha".
You can just imagine the look on my face. I found another one and she was so exubilant and then i asked, "are you Buddhists?"
she said, "No! well yeah! something along that same philosophy".
I started thinking maybe God wanted me to start evangelising but I couldn't come up with a starting line or anything like that, I was putting on a shirt that said "helping in Jesus Name". I found solace in knowing that however many years down the line, these people will look back at the hurricane, remember and share how some people who believed in Jesus helped them after the hurricane.
I just stayed silent and kept working hard, praying my hardwork portrays my relationship with Christ and then a thought came up to me. That piece of Buddha she treasured, that Idol was TRASH, as I went through the pile, I saw some more trash they treasured and God reminded me of the "trash" I treasure. Relationships I hold on to that I need not, hatred, the small idols I worship (money, fame, beauty), pride, my phone, the list goes on and on. I do not treasure Buddha, or the little wooden Idols I came across in that pile but I have my own little, worthless stuff I treasure and I need to throw away.
As I went through the day,helping different people in different locations, I was just amazed at how the hurricane affected everyone, Christians, Non Christians, rich and poor, diverse races and was amazed at how each of these needed our help regardless of who we are and where we came from. They prayed with us, cried with us and laughed with us. The Scripture that popped out of my head was Luke 12:15" Be on your guard against all kinds of greed, a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions., and 33,34 says, "prepare a treasure in Heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys, for where your treasure is , there, your heart will be also".
Where are you storing your treasure? And what kind of trash are you treasuring? Is it worth it? As for me I think it is better for people to look at my pile and see trash when it is treasure, than to show off what I think is treasure, when it is trash.
Friday, November 2, 2012
MY PROVIDERS PROVIDENCE
Stranded at the airport, tired and weary, a new place, lots of technological stuff I had never experienced, missing home, language barriers or maybe I should call it accent barriers, cancelled flight, no money, hopeless. A woman we do not know, comforts us, gives us food, takes us to the right place and gives us hope. In that instant when I was about to lose it, she says, "if my daughter was in this situation, I wouldn't want her to suffer." Really would I call that a coincedence?
I choose to call it Gods providence. Since I got here he has done it over and over and over again, that if I just slacked in thought I would think its normal and forget Its God who controls everything. A family offering to buy me a phone and cover all bills so that I have easy communication with my friends and family, is that a coincedence or luck? Are the people who donate jackets , shoes, and just whatever is necessary to keep me warm for a winter I have never experienced in my entire life a coincedence? People who take me shopping when I miss Malawian food, and they take me to the nearest place possible that offers fresh food and stuff thats nearly Malawian just a coincedence? The people who offer me hugs and smiles when I just need warmth and love, the people who are there to listen when I want to talk, the people who give me a shoulder to cry on, friends who turned to sisters and brothers, women and men who are parental figures in my life, are all these a coincedence or just mere luck.?
Again I will tell you what I believe this is, this is Gods Providence. Hebrews 13:5, " I will never leave nor forsake you". In my times of lack , He will provide, like He provided the lamb for Abraham to kill instead of Isaac (Genesis 22:7-8, 12-13). He will provide all my needs, food, shelter, love, protection, family, clothes, friends, affection, employment, self-esteem, respect, creativity, problem solving, morality, just everything that makes my world go round. He has done it over and over again in my entire life, why doubt Him now? This is what the Lord is teaching me daily as I live my life, this side of the world, and as I am learning to trust Him wholly, entirely, and fully.
My providers providence, when i ask Him for character building or spiritual growth , He gives me situations to build me. For instance, when I ask for patience, He brings me situations that i need inorder to practice my patience and I choose what to do with these situations, and actually thats how I grow. The way I react to the most unbearable situatiions I find myself in simply give me a picture of who I am. I have to be careful when am faced with various circumstances because maybe God wants to use those to build my character, to grow me, to get me ready for the next phase in my life. I ask and He provides. Matthew 7:7 "Ask and you will receive, search, and you will find,knock and the door will be opened for you." Sometimes He provides in ways that I don't even understand because I was not expecting Him to but Its always much better than I hoped for and exactly what I needed.
Let's stop focusing on the negatives and look at what the Lord has done for us already. If He sacrificed His son for us to live, what would He not do for us? If He never changes, then all His promises that He will never leave us and He will provide for us, stay true. Negativity steals hope and faith from us. Let's live today, hoping for the best for tomorrow for He who said , "look at the birds in the sky! They don't plant or harvest. They don't even store grain in Barns. Yet your father in heaven takes care of them. Aren't you worth more than birds? Matthew 6:26," meant it. And Paul said, "In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, those called according to His purposes." He provides everything, He is in control of everything, even the littlest details in my/your life you don't want to think of. He loves us and knows what is very best for you and me.
HURRICANE SANDY
Am glad I survived and there wasn't alot of damage in my house. I am sad and sorry for those who lost property and loved ones. May God comfort these, and in times of trouble it is hard to see, the goodness of God and His love, but if you are able to read this, thank God for your life, be open to see and hear what God is saying to you. You might not get it now, maybe later and maybe never but God is still God and what you think about Him in times like these don't change who He is. He still loves you and He is willing to go through this time with you, thats what He does, never leaves nor forsakes us, never sleeps nor slumbers.
I choose to call it Gods providence. Since I got here he has done it over and over and over again, that if I just slacked in thought I would think its normal and forget Its God who controls everything. A family offering to buy me a phone and cover all bills so that I have easy communication with my friends and family, is that a coincedence or luck? Are the people who donate jackets , shoes, and just whatever is necessary to keep me warm for a winter I have never experienced in my entire life a coincedence? People who take me shopping when I miss Malawian food, and they take me to the nearest place possible that offers fresh food and stuff thats nearly Malawian just a coincedence? The people who offer me hugs and smiles when I just need warmth and love, the people who are there to listen when I want to talk, the people who give me a shoulder to cry on, friends who turned to sisters and brothers, women and men who are parental figures in my life, are all these a coincedence or just mere luck.?
Again I will tell you what I believe this is, this is Gods Providence. Hebrews 13:5, " I will never leave nor forsake you". In my times of lack , He will provide, like He provided the lamb for Abraham to kill instead of Isaac (Genesis 22:7-8, 12-13). He will provide all my needs, food, shelter, love, protection, family, clothes, friends, affection, employment, self-esteem, respect, creativity, problem solving, morality, just everything that makes my world go round. He has done it over and over again in my entire life, why doubt Him now? This is what the Lord is teaching me daily as I live my life, this side of the world, and as I am learning to trust Him wholly, entirely, and fully.
My providers providence, when i ask Him for character building or spiritual growth , He gives me situations to build me. For instance, when I ask for patience, He brings me situations that i need inorder to practice my patience and I choose what to do with these situations, and actually thats how I grow. The way I react to the most unbearable situatiions I find myself in simply give me a picture of who I am. I have to be careful when am faced with various circumstances because maybe God wants to use those to build my character, to grow me, to get me ready for the next phase in my life. I ask and He provides. Matthew 7:7 "Ask and you will receive, search, and you will find,knock and the door will be opened for you." Sometimes He provides in ways that I don't even understand because I was not expecting Him to but Its always much better than I hoped for and exactly what I needed.
Let's stop focusing on the negatives and look at what the Lord has done for us already. If He sacrificed His son for us to live, what would He not do for us? If He never changes, then all His promises that He will never leave us and He will provide for us, stay true. Negativity steals hope and faith from us. Let's live today, hoping for the best for tomorrow for He who said , "look at the birds in the sky! They don't plant or harvest. They don't even store grain in Barns. Yet your father in heaven takes care of them. Aren't you worth more than birds? Matthew 6:26," meant it. And Paul said, "In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, those called according to His purposes." He provides everything, He is in control of everything, even the littlest details in my/your life you don't want to think of. He loves us and knows what is very best for you and me.
HURRICANE SANDY
Am glad I survived and there wasn't alot of damage in my house. I am sad and sorry for those who lost property and loved ones. May God comfort these, and in times of trouble it is hard to see, the goodness of God and His love, but if you are able to read this, thank God for your life, be open to see and hear what God is saying to you. You might not get it now, maybe later and maybe never but God is still God and what you think about Him in times like these don't change who He is. He still loves you and He is willing to go through this time with you, thats what He does, never leaves nor forsakes us, never sleeps nor slumbers.
Monday, October 22, 2012
BLESSED CURSE
Once i heard a wise man of God say, "only God can squezze a curse into a blessing." I love that quote because it is so true with my life. From birth untill now, it rings true daily in my life. I was born while my mum was still in school. My mum is an amazing woman trust me, and I wanna be like her to my children, she is so strong and she loves me to death. The world views a child born out of wedlock as an accident, to my parents I was a reminder of a mistake. A past they would love to forget, maybe if not for me they couldn't have been where they are now and for most of my growing up in my family, I felt this weigh me down. I had to prove myself to being the best, I had to fight for approval and appreciation and attention. Show me a child who doesn't want this. My mother, wanted to protect me from repeating the same mistakes she did but the methods she used left me broken more, it's only God who can teach a woman to be a mother. On the other hand, I was a trophy child to my dad, I had to constantly do well in everything so that he shows me off. I never reached his expectations most of the times because I am not perfect, I am human. My imperfections would drive him crazy enough to do anything or say anything that would push me more. My life was pressured.
I searched for love and fulfilment from wherever I could. I thought everyone was better than me and all the times, everyday my life was lived to prove the point that I can be more. I will be the child my parents would love, I will do well in school, I will make them proud, I will not mess up. The truth is a child should be a child. Discipline them alright, but set them free. Give them space to make their own mistakes, somebody said we learn through mistakes. As i grew, it never got easy because I became more sensitive to my surrounding. I knew my family was not like all other families, there was something wrong with mine, and I started asking God why He had chosen to place me there.
I guess because God has set eternity in our hearts, I knew there was something greater God had created me for. I longed for the perfect life and when I heard about heaven and hell, I knew I wanted heaven, I have had a taste of hell, in my earthly life anyway. God just has a way of working in our hearts because growing up I had every reason to go out and search for fulfilment else where but He protected me. My family had affected my way of reasoning , I had experienced unhealthy situations as a kid, I acted strong outside but was hopeless inside.
When I heard the gospel, I knew the time had come for me to stop living my life to please people. The moment I met Jesus, my life literary took a turn. The definition of my life changed, I suddenly had a reason for living. When God has your heart, He has it all. He built my self esteem, He told me, " Iam fearfully and wonderfully made". He reminds me every morning that I am beautiful but my outside beauty is less charming than my inside, because my outside will fade but my inside will live forever. Yes I mess up but nothing i do, could ever make Him love me less. My family is still at it, but am hopeful, God will restore it in His own perfect time. My mum is still the best, she rocks my world and she just got to know Christ and it doesn't get better than that. My dad, I haven't said alot about my dad, I know, I hate focusing on negatives thats why. I love and respect Him because He is my father, but I will surely say more when I get deep with this. Ofcourse the other reason is that this is about me and not about the rest of my family.
My point is, when I was born and I had destroyed the plans my mum and dad had for their future, I surely was a curse, but if you look at me now, am a blessing to my family. I love where God is taking me, and the work He is doing in my life. Living a life to glorify God is fulfilling than fighting to be accepted by people, family or friends. He loves us for who He is and not what we are, His love is so true and scandalous free. He gives His love to everyone and its up to you to choose it or deny it. He accepts you the way you are, it doesn't matter where you are coming from, family, location, background, race, tribe, religious beliefs or whatever you might think of . I am not less than , I am more than. Another wise man of God told me that, "you either choose to transmit your pain or transform your pain". I got my calling from my situations, my pain and I know God has something for you from the situation you are in. He placed you where you are for a reason. You have probably heard this for a long time, maybe it is now time you believed it and asked God to reveal the purpose He has for you. There is hope and there is a future. God is found everywhere, even in the brokenness of the world.
I searched for love and fulfilment from wherever I could. I thought everyone was better than me and all the times, everyday my life was lived to prove the point that I can be more. I will be the child my parents would love, I will do well in school, I will make them proud, I will not mess up. The truth is a child should be a child. Discipline them alright, but set them free. Give them space to make their own mistakes, somebody said we learn through mistakes. As i grew, it never got easy because I became more sensitive to my surrounding. I knew my family was not like all other families, there was something wrong with mine, and I started asking God why He had chosen to place me there.
I guess because God has set eternity in our hearts, I knew there was something greater God had created me for. I longed for the perfect life and when I heard about heaven and hell, I knew I wanted heaven, I have had a taste of hell, in my earthly life anyway. God just has a way of working in our hearts because growing up I had every reason to go out and search for fulfilment else where but He protected me. My family had affected my way of reasoning , I had experienced unhealthy situations as a kid, I acted strong outside but was hopeless inside.
When I heard the gospel, I knew the time had come for me to stop living my life to please people. The moment I met Jesus, my life literary took a turn. The definition of my life changed, I suddenly had a reason for living. When God has your heart, He has it all. He built my self esteem, He told me, " Iam fearfully and wonderfully made". He reminds me every morning that I am beautiful but my outside beauty is less charming than my inside, because my outside will fade but my inside will live forever. Yes I mess up but nothing i do, could ever make Him love me less. My family is still at it, but am hopeful, God will restore it in His own perfect time. My mum is still the best, she rocks my world and she just got to know Christ and it doesn't get better than that. My dad, I haven't said alot about my dad, I know, I hate focusing on negatives thats why. I love and respect Him because He is my father, but I will surely say more when I get deep with this. Ofcourse the other reason is that this is about me and not about the rest of my family.
My point is, when I was born and I had destroyed the plans my mum and dad had for their future, I surely was a curse, but if you look at me now, am a blessing to my family. I love where God is taking me, and the work He is doing in my life. Living a life to glorify God is fulfilling than fighting to be accepted by people, family or friends. He loves us for who He is and not what we are, His love is so true and scandalous free. He gives His love to everyone and its up to you to choose it or deny it. He accepts you the way you are, it doesn't matter where you are coming from, family, location, background, race, tribe, religious beliefs or whatever you might think of . I am not less than , I am more than. Another wise man of God told me that, "you either choose to transmit your pain or transform your pain". I got my calling from my situations, my pain and I know God has something for you from the situation you are in. He placed you where you are for a reason. You have probably heard this for a long time, maybe it is now time you believed it and asked God to reveal the purpose He has for you. There is hope and there is a future. God is found everywhere, even in the brokenness of the world.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
AT THE AIRPORT(WASHNGTON DULLES)
God places people at the right place and at the right time. I am a living witness to this. God wants you to be where you are, for you or for someone you don't know or do know. Just ask God to reveal to you why you are there or surrender yourself to Him to use you as He wills. This is my longest blog and i might never have one as long as this one ever, mark the word MIGHT.
Well, let me get to my story, we got to Washington Dulles, so late, just in time for our connecting plane to Philladelphia,. I already told you about how I barely knew where I was going in Addis Ababa, but when I got to Washington, I am positive I did not know anything that was going on, that place is huge. We had to run all the way, because apparently we were late for the plane, and then we didn't have time to check in our luggage, the one that you check for all the way, some how it got dumped at Washington and we had to check it in again but we didn't have time and they told us to make it carry on luggage. Without time to argue, we were made to throw away every liquid thing we had like lotion and everything they thought was heavy or not supposed to be on the plane with people. We protested but who argues with immigratiion people,?(a lesson I learnt) with fear of being deported, we gave in and they threw away our possesssions, and in my heart I was going, I just spent alot of money on this in Malawi, but yeah. I remember some lady was checking us in, she called someone and told him to help us, she couldn't do it anymore, it was stuff about our accents or whatever but I know she was making fun of us. I felt heat rising up my veins but I had to be humble and polite and I knew I had left Malawi
We were rushed through and we were told to go upstairs. Guys, go upstairs is not as easy as it sounds, when you are going up and down elevators and escalators. I felt like I was going down all the time but people said it was up, technology hey, and I felt silly. We kept asking and we met people who never said anything and but others did, thank God. I remember at some point we got stranded and this other man just came to us, asking us where we were going and we said upstairs., hahaha, he looked at our boarding passes and he said we had to take a train, I mean seriously, how does someone take a train inside an airport. We did, a train that i never saw it's driver, and this man left us in the hands of some lady who took us upstairs to the spot we were supposed to be. Upon getting there, we found that our plane was delayed. I was so tired, for some reason, I failed to sleep throughout the way in the plane, and i was so looking forward to my last plane ride of the day and it was night. However the plane was delayed. I was so overwhelmed, the technology this side was awesome like toilets that flashed themselves and trains that drove themselves. I was mad, we had thrown our stuff and the plane was delayed. I was tired of running up and about in the airport i just needed rest, when we were told the plane was delayed again and then cancelled, I was at the verge of my breaking point.
We had no contacts whatsoever with who was gonna pick us up when we got to Philladelphia, no internet, no nothing. I was having a headache and was now dead tired. we were told to rebook our flights and we ran to the line and I promise you, I was sleeping while standing in the line. The guys (Oscar and Tio)were like, go sit down and we will rebook the ticket for you. In my heart I was like thanks you guys but I barely made sense.I had barely sat down when I started snoring (am just kidding, i don't snore). Yes, I slept like a baby, on a chair in the airport. Something woke me up or maybe I was just restless, how does one sleep in such a busy place., but like 5 seats away from me, sat a lady. I wanted to know the time and I asked her and she told me. The guys were still on the line which seemed like it wasn't moving at all because people kept arguing with the airlines people about not refunding or giving us a hotel or food or whatever. I asked the lady again if she was going to Philly like the rest of us and she said yes.
She later asked me to sit next to her and started asking me questions. She grew more interested and sad at the same time for what I had to pass through on my first trip outside Malawi and away from my family. She then told me she would help till she saw we were safe because if her daughter was stuck somewhere, she would want someone to help her out. I was moved by this womans passion trust me. We were supposed to sleep at the airport and stay there the whole morning the other day because the other planes were fully booked or go to Ronald Reagan Airport sleep there and leave early the next morning. We chose Reagan, we never knew how to reach their, but this woman and her husband took us there, gave us food, left us with their contacts and left. I was so thankful and will forever be grateful. If God has never provided for you, you would think this was coincidence as for me, I know it was God at work. These people could have chosen to ignore us, we are Africans anyway, they could have chosen not to trust us, but they took us in their car and gave us their food., WOW!
We moved up and down at Reagan, everyone we needed had stopped working apart from the security guards and Dunkin Donuts. It was after 10 in the evining, tired, we had a little money we bought donuts and hot chocolate, somehow, we got boarding passes though poeple were like, 'come in the morning' they could later help us. I saw God, trust me when I say this, I saw God soften peoples hearts. He did it for me, He can do it for you. At around 1, we took turns sleeping, because someone had to look after the luggage they had not thrown away. The next morning at around 5, we refreshened ourselves in the airport bathrooms and went to board our plane to Philadelphia. By this time, I was failing to think straight, everything felt like i was in a dream, I was hardly alive. My body, and soul were so tired, it was the Lords Spirit that kept me alive. We landed in Philadelphia, with nobody to pick us up and i was even more stressed, Oscar went running around searching for the information we needed and we got people again who gave us their phones and access to the net untill we found someone to come pick us up. Tionge stayed by me, watching me. These guys were wonderful. I was so bored, i sat down dozing , i went in and out of the airport thinking am forgotten, when suddenly I heard a lady behind me say,"i think you are the Urban Promise interns, my name is Margaret, I have come to pick you up". Those were like the best words I had heard in , i think forever, I looked up, she was all smiles, i smiled back and thats when internship began.
Well, let me get to my story, we got to Washington Dulles, so late, just in time for our connecting plane to Philladelphia,. I already told you about how I barely knew where I was going in Addis Ababa, but when I got to Washington, I am positive I did not know anything that was going on, that place is huge. We had to run all the way, because apparently we were late for the plane, and then we didn't have time to check in our luggage, the one that you check for all the way, some how it got dumped at Washington and we had to check it in again but we didn't have time and they told us to make it carry on luggage. Without time to argue, we were made to throw away every liquid thing we had like lotion and everything they thought was heavy or not supposed to be on the plane with people. We protested but who argues with immigratiion people,?(a lesson I learnt) with fear of being deported, we gave in and they threw away our possesssions, and in my heart I was going, I just spent alot of money on this in Malawi, but yeah. I remember some lady was checking us in, she called someone and told him to help us, she couldn't do it anymore, it was stuff about our accents or whatever but I know she was making fun of us. I felt heat rising up my veins but I had to be humble and polite and I knew I had left Malawi
We were rushed through and we were told to go upstairs. Guys, go upstairs is not as easy as it sounds, when you are going up and down elevators and escalators. I felt like I was going down all the time but people said it was up, technology hey, and I felt silly. We kept asking and we met people who never said anything and but others did, thank God. I remember at some point we got stranded and this other man just came to us, asking us where we were going and we said upstairs., hahaha, he looked at our boarding passes and he said we had to take a train, I mean seriously, how does someone take a train inside an airport. We did, a train that i never saw it's driver, and this man left us in the hands of some lady who took us upstairs to the spot we were supposed to be. Upon getting there, we found that our plane was delayed. I was so tired, for some reason, I failed to sleep throughout the way in the plane, and i was so looking forward to my last plane ride of the day and it was night. However the plane was delayed. I was so overwhelmed, the technology this side was awesome like toilets that flashed themselves and trains that drove themselves. I was mad, we had thrown our stuff and the plane was delayed. I was tired of running up and about in the airport i just needed rest, when we were told the plane was delayed again and then cancelled, I was at the verge of my breaking point.
We had no contacts whatsoever with who was gonna pick us up when we got to Philladelphia, no internet, no nothing. I was having a headache and was now dead tired. we were told to rebook our flights and we ran to the line and I promise you, I was sleeping while standing in the line. The guys (Oscar and Tio)were like, go sit down and we will rebook the ticket for you. In my heart I was like thanks you guys but I barely made sense.I had barely sat down when I started snoring (am just kidding, i don't snore). Yes, I slept like a baby, on a chair in the airport. Something woke me up or maybe I was just restless, how does one sleep in such a busy place., but like 5 seats away from me, sat a lady. I wanted to know the time and I asked her and she told me. The guys were still on the line which seemed like it wasn't moving at all because people kept arguing with the airlines people about not refunding or giving us a hotel or food or whatever. I asked the lady again if she was going to Philly like the rest of us and she said yes.
She later asked me to sit next to her and started asking me questions. She grew more interested and sad at the same time for what I had to pass through on my first trip outside Malawi and away from my family. She then told me she would help till she saw we were safe because if her daughter was stuck somewhere, she would want someone to help her out. I was moved by this womans passion trust me. We were supposed to sleep at the airport and stay there the whole morning the other day because the other planes were fully booked or go to Ronald Reagan Airport sleep there and leave early the next morning. We chose Reagan, we never knew how to reach their, but this woman and her husband took us there, gave us food, left us with their contacts and left. I was so thankful and will forever be grateful. If God has never provided for you, you would think this was coincidence as for me, I know it was God at work. These people could have chosen to ignore us, we are Africans anyway, they could have chosen not to trust us, but they took us in their car and gave us their food., WOW!
We moved up and down at Reagan, everyone we needed had stopped working apart from the security guards and Dunkin Donuts. It was after 10 in the evining, tired, we had a little money we bought donuts and hot chocolate, somehow, we got boarding passes though poeple were like, 'come in the morning' they could later help us. I saw God, trust me when I say this, I saw God soften peoples hearts. He did it for me, He can do it for you. At around 1, we took turns sleeping, because someone had to look after the luggage they had not thrown away. The next morning at around 5, we refreshened ourselves in the airport bathrooms and went to board our plane to Philadelphia. By this time, I was failing to think straight, everything felt like i was in a dream, I was hardly alive. My body, and soul were so tired, it was the Lords Spirit that kept me alive. We landed in Philadelphia, with nobody to pick us up and i was even more stressed, Oscar went running around searching for the information we needed and we got people again who gave us their phones and access to the net untill we found someone to come pick us up. Tionge stayed by me, watching me. These guys were wonderful. I was so bored, i sat down dozing , i went in and out of the airport thinking am forgotten, when suddenly I heard a lady behind me say,"i think you are the Urban Promise interns, my name is Margaret, I have come to pick you up". Those were like the best words I had heard in , i think forever, I looked up, she was all smiles, i smiled back and thats when internship began.
Friday, October 5, 2012
THE DAY IT ALL STARTED
3rd, 4th, 5th September, 2012.
I said bye to my family and friends in Malawi. Deep down my heart I was scared but I couldn't let my face show so, I kept smiling, all through the airport, hugs and kisses and byes and then the plane. Whoa! it was my first plane ride and it was a 32 hours 19 minutes trip so yeah, "U go girl". It all started to go wrong., my plane was delayed and I knew, the schedule was already going wrong. From Malawi, we were supposed to land in Addis Ababa, i know I just started using we, it is Oscar, Tionge and Me, we were on this trip together. Those 2 are boys, well maybe men, and I was/am the lady. Back to the story, so yeah, apparently when we got to Ethiopia we could not land due to bad weather so we had to stay in the air. I was like what? Already, i barely understand how something so big as an aeroplane can fly in the air and never get lost or crash, or something and now i have to just stay in the air??? I did though, but after some hours of moving around in circles, they decided to land us in Djibouti. if you haven't figured this out, i will help, that was a second delay and this messed up our schedule even more.
We landed in Djibouti at 10:10PM and started off for Addis again at 2:15Am, imagine that. stuck in a plane, with people from all over the world, others would say they feel hot the same time others were saying they feel cold and the plane crew had to make this a conducive environment for everyone. There was no food, no drinks left and you could barely sleep, it was chaotic. I survived. The shaking, the taking off, and the landing of the plane were my weakest points. I never got sick though, I just squeezed the guy next to me, I won't tell who, am embarrassed ,lol. i kept praying for Gods breakthrough, in this terrible weather condition and when we finally landed in Addis I was like Yippee, He heard me. even though Malawi National soccer team, beats Djibouti almost all the time, our national airport is pathetic when compared to Djibouti's and i viewed Djibouti's through the planes window.
At Addis Ababa, finally, we had to run all the way through checkpoints and staff because we got delayed big time. This airport was big, i barely knew where I was going half the time. i kept following my guys, who were following some guys, how does that sound? Eventually we went aboard the BIGGER plane, at that moment i was like "oh my goodness! i love my life". i sat down, and practically touched and used everything next to me. It didn't matter whether I knew the use or not but I trusted they couldn't put something in my seat or by my seat that would kill me, great faith in Ethiopian Airways hey. At this point i was missing my family, this is my real family, the one am a part of and my other family, the one that is going to be my own family, which i will make others a part of and my friends. I so much wanted to share these moments with them.
We landed in Rome and the weather that side wasn't good so we couldn't start off, that was being delayed again. I was so hungry at some point, my ears could go numb, all these people with babies reminded me of Leroy, my 6 months old boyfriend and I missed home even more. The more it rained , the more the aircraft shook and the more i hated it. After, I have forgotten how many hours of flying, we landed in Washington Dulles and this is where the Journey begins. Stay with me:)
I said bye to my family and friends in Malawi. Deep down my heart I was scared but I couldn't let my face show so, I kept smiling, all through the airport, hugs and kisses and byes and then the plane. Whoa! it was my first plane ride and it was a 32 hours 19 minutes trip so yeah, "U go girl". It all started to go wrong., my plane was delayed and I knew, the schedule was already going wrong. From Malawi, we were supposed to land in Addis Ababa, i know I just started using we, it is Oscar, Tionge and Me, we were on this trip together. Those 2 are boys, well maybe men, and I was/am the lady. Back to the story, so yeah, apparently when we got to Ethiopia we could not land due to bad weather so we had to stay in the air. I was like what? Already, i barely understand how something so big as an aeroplane can fly in the air and never get lost or crash, or something and now i have to just stay in the air??? I did though, but after some hours of moving around in circles, they decided to land us in Djibouti. if you haven't figured this out, i will help, that was a second delay and this messed up our schedule even more.
We landed in Djibouti at 10:10PM and started off for Addis again at 2:15Am, imagine that. stuck in a plane, with people from all over the world, others would say they feel hot the same time others were saying they feel cold and the plane crew had to make this a conducive environment for everyone. There was no food, no drinks left and you could barely sleep, it was chaotic. I survived. The shaking, the taking off, and the landing of the plane were my weakest points. I never got sick though, I just squeezed the guy next to me, I won't tell who, am embarrassed ,lol. i kept praying for Gods breakthrough, in this terrible weather condition and when we finally landed in Addis I was like Yippee, He heard me. even though Malawi National soccer team, beats Djibouti almost all the time, our national airport is pathetic when compared to Djibouti's and i viewed Djibouti's through the planes window.
At Addis Ababa, finally, we had to run all the way through checkpoints and staff because we got delayed big time. This airport was big, i barely knew where I was going half the time. i kept following my guys, who were following some guys, how does that sound? Eventually we went aboard the BIGGER plane, at that moment i was like "oh my goodness! i love my life". i sat down, and practically touched and used everything next to me. It didn't matter whether I knew the use or not but I trusted they couldn't put something in my seat or by my seat that would kill me, great faith in Ethiopian Airways hey. At this point i was missing my family, this is my real family, the one am a part of and my other family, the one that is going to be my own family, which i will make others a part of and my friends. I so much wanted to share these moments with them.
We landed in Rome and the weather that side wasn't good so we couldn't start off, that was being delayed again. I was so hungry at some point, my ears could go numb, all these people with babies reminded me of Leroy, my 6 months old boyfriend and I missed home even more. The more it rained , the more the aircraft shook and the more i hated it. After, I have forgotten how many hours of flying, we landed in Washington Dulles and this is where the Journey begins. Stay with me:)
Thursday, October 4, 2012
About Me
My name is Vanessa Mwangala. I gave myself the name Melody and my dads First name is Steve, so i call myself Melody Stevens for fun most times. I am the first born in a family of 2, well maybe 3 but that's a story for some other day if you keep following me. I am Malawian, born and raised in Malawi by Malawian parents and i speak English and Chichewa( a predominant Malawian local language). I am a Christian, you might forget everything i might say but live with that, am a Christian. The kind that believes in Jesus Christ as the only way to God the father, and Jesus as the truth, light and life. I am a Jesus freak, one who thinks without Jesus, life is meaningless. yes, I am that one. I have all my hope and faith in Him because he has never disappointed me and i know He will never do.
My Childhood,
I wanted all the appreciation i could get from my family and i never got it. I yearned for the peace families give, and i never got it. I craved for recognition, parents ought to give and i never got it. So, i became wild at heart, searching for all this from wherever and whoever, but i got broken more than healed because I never found. Trust me, rejection hurts, but rejection hurts most when most influential people in your life are rejecting you. A little "congratulations!" after passing an exam, or "don't worry , accidents do happen after breaking a mug" are all i ever needed to make me realize am normal and worthy. Thinking you are the worst thing that ever happened to your family never helps either.
MY College years,
So, i graduated from College this June,2012, pretty quick i know but it had to be this way. This is where i got to know that, the world would never give me the satisfaction and completion I needed but someone or something could. i realized there is a hole in everybody's heart which family ought to fill in, and when it doesn't, everybody goes on a search for what will, and others search in drug and alcohol abuse, others search in girl/boy relationships, others search in money and well all sorts of other immoralities you might think of. but, these break us more, when the consequences of drugs start showing, everybody can easily see how vulnerable we are, when boy/girl relationships fail, we are even more vulnerable, when we can't get money, our vulnerability is so clear, so see, what am talking about? the world just can't fill us up and complete us.
I know what can fill us, and it is a person, no, it is God, i should say He is fully Human and fully God, read John 1. He is the reason I am found here, in Camden, today and He is who defines my life. this blog is simply to share, how Gods grace has been at work in my life, since the day i departed from Malawi and landed in America. stay with me:)
My Childhood,
I wanted all the appreciation i could get from my family and i never got it. I yearned for the peace families give, and i never got it. I craved for recognition, parents ought to give and i never got it. So, i became wild at heart, searching for all this from wherever and whoever, but i got broken more than healed because I never found. Trust me, rejection hurts, but rejection hurts most when most influential people in your life are rejecting you. A little "congratulations!" after passing an exam, or "don't worry , accidents do happen after breaking a mug" are all i ever needed to make me realize am normal and worthy. Thinking you are the worst thing that ever happened to your family never helps either.
MY College years,
So, i graduated from College this June,2012, pretty quick i know but it had to be this way. This is where i got to know that, the world would never give me the satisfaction and completion I needed but someone or something could. i realized there is a hole in everybody's heart which family ought to fill in, and when it doesn't, everybody goes on a search for what will, and others search in drug and alcohol abuse, others search in girl/boy relationships, others search in money and well all sorts of other immoralities you might think of. but, these break us more, when the consequences of drugs start showing, everybody can easily see how vulnerable we are, when boy/girl relationships fail, we are even more vulnerable, when we can't get money, our vulnerability is so clear, so see, what am talking about? the world just can't fill us up and complete us.
I know what can fill us, and it is a person, no, it is God, i should say He is fully Human and fully God, read John 1. He is the reason I am found here, in Camden, today and He is who defines my life. this blog is simply to share, how Gods grace has been at work in my life, since the day i departed from Malawi and landed in America. stay with me:)
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