IS IT JUST ME?

Happy New Year.
I don't know about you but as much as I wanted my year to begin stress free and perfect, the opposite became true, yet here I am smiling because the good shepherd is shepherding me. The more the years go, the more I grow and the more I get to know me more. The more Knowledge I gather on myself, the more amazed I am on what I do, and to what extent I can go in doing stuff and getting what I want. With every extra mile I go, every tear I drop, every good or bad word I let out of my mouth; with every smile, every heartache and every skipped heartbeat, with every thought, success or failure, when I press on or give up, when I am sad or happy., In all my days, I realize there is something more, something great, something real, something I can't describe, I can't comprehend but consumes me.

I have been thinking, writing and wishing a lot lately. I plan alot and by now I know most of the things I plan don't happen that way because God does them His way, which I love and am learning to delight in Him more so that I plan inline with His will.( "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails", Provebs 19:21). I imagine stuff and tell myself they can only happen in my mind, I call it my fantasy world, yet God says, "Nothing is impossible with Him". Through others, through Scripture, God speaks to me, but you know what I do, when I hear Him? (Genesis 18:12. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, "After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?"). When God tells me it will come to pass, deep down I feel like laughing like Sarah did, yet I cry. Maybe its because am shocked He was really listening and reading, but more so because I want it to be real so much in my life but it feels fake.

Hidden deep within my heart is a heavy longing for that perfect moment, perfect person, perfect love, perfect food, perfect family, yet, the world around me keeps telling me nothing is perfect. I believe in perfection, maybe its because He calls us to perfection. Mathew 5:48, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly father is perfect". I John 4:18, "There is no fear in love. but perfect love drives out fear..," I believe in perfect love, I have tasted it in Jesus. I believe that when things happen in Gods appointed time, they happen perfectly, even when I can't see it all then. "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end," Ecclesiastes 3:11.

This is a year of new begginings, I have heard alot of people say it, and I have heard that at almost the beginning of every year. You can make every year, every month, week,day, hour, minute, second, of new beginnings. I will say be open to possibilites, don't hold back, don't give up. Have your arms wide open to receive whatever a loving father brings. Might not be what you expect, might be better or worse, but a loving father is in control, and He sees it fit to present you with that.As for me, am ready for my new begginings in whichever form they present themselves because through it all I will trust in God, and we will be in it together. I wish you blessings, love and peace plus a growing relationship with our redeemer, savior and friend Jesus Christ in this New Year. Blessed 2013