I was talking to this young man last night and trust
me, I hadn’t planned this, but somehow I started blurting out my frustrations.
I told him how I sometimes hate my life, how I feel closed off from the real
world, how I have lost friends since I came to live here, how much I miss
fellowship, feel like I don’t belong, how I hate my house especially now
that it’s raining and it leaks, how I don’t understand why God chose this for
me instead of something different and a whole lot of complaints.
This young man said to me, “Calm down,” and he
repeated smoothly again “calm down V”. Through him, I felt God talk to me and
calm my spirits. He went on to encourage me, “God never sleeps, He is watching
over you always. Speak to God, always. When you are building a house,
foundations differ depending on the type of house you are building-same
way, what God is doing with you, and where He is leading you is different from
everyone else’s path , so don't compare your life to others. God has placed you there for a reason, you are making an
impact and you are the best person to be doing what you are doing. You might
not be there forever but at this moment those girls need you. YOU ARE NOT
ALONE, You will never know the people you inspire and the impact your faith
has. Someone is encouraged by the path you have taken in your life...”
We went back and forth, and as I listened to him
speak, I felt tears run down my face and I went into deep thought. The time I
decided to finally stop running and answer my call to come here, it was out of conviction that this was my calling in
life. Truth is, I know am supposed to be here and I love being here but sometimes
I lose it. There are days when I feel lost, days when I doubt my calling. Days
when I condemn myself for my imperfections, and days I wonder if people know my
life is not perfect.
As I went on in my deep thought, I realized am
thankful to God for who He is and for choosing me. He prepared me and He
reminds me often it is not rosy but He will never leave nor forsake me. I
accepted again my calling, and I closed my eyes to speak with God. One thing I
know is God is never going to suffer for my disobedience. If I don’t do what He
wants me to do, He will raise someone or even something else to do it. As I leave 2014 going into 15, I choose to trust this God who I cannot
control. I am willing to walk with this God whose ways are so different. I
choose to lean on this God who makes impossible demands and promises me His
presence. So, Let your will be done Lord.
inspired
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